Monday, November 3, 2008


Bored? Been up all nite mainlining Fun Dip and pouring Mountain Dew into your Frutti Pebbles? Do you think the NES is the greatest invention of mankind and believe it will end all wars and solve wolrd hunger, rape, and class differences? sBACH may be right for you! Three easy steps and you'll be on your way to a magical journey into a doom-ridden 8-bit wonderland.

1. Quit your job, then fill your living room with blankets, matresses, and other soft objects.
2. Place the sBACH self-titled compact disc directly into your CD player. This is crucial! Make sure the label is facing up or it won't play correctly. Now, push play. It's the one that looks like a sideways triangle. Don't hit the square!
3. Consume a near lethal dose of sugar (or psychedelic drugs if you prefer, but that's for cheaters!). Now, let the sounds soak into your rigid ears.

WARNING: At times you may feel angry and want to punch something. This is normal! You may also feel disgustingly happy and want to dance around the living room in day-glo pajamas with feet. Completely normal as well. You may even be led to believe that you are a robot and that this music is conversing to you. Let it talk! Just remember, that when the sounds have ceased to come out of your speakers, it's OK to play it again.

DISCLAIMER: Suicide Squeeze records is not responsible for any property damaged during the listening of this record, nor will they pay for your trip to the Looney Bin.

sBACH myspace

No comments: