Monday, November 3, 2008

Weezer- The Red Album

Weezer ain't what it used to be, yes, but they have gotten a lot of unnecessary hatred thrown at them after their last album, Make Believe. The snobs and music press hated it, and although it is uncomfortably sugary at times, more hideous sounds have filled my ears. I'm all about second chances, so after a three year wait to see if Weezer could redeem themselves, I am left with mixed emotions.

If releasing another self-titled album known only by the color of the background is any indication of a good Weezer album, than this record should be pretty damn good. This album is all over the place. It's like the band had a bunch of ideas and just spread them out all over the table, put them face down, did the hillybilly shuffle, and then picked them up one by one and put them on record. Some of the ideas work, some dont'. The classic Weezer powerpop sound shines on songs like "Troublemaker," "Everybody Get Dangerous" and "Pork and Beans" (a song that dismisses all the haters out there). But everything else just lies there flat.

"The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)" is a rock opera of sorts, combinging rap, Greorgian chant, falsetto vocals, acoustic guitars and piano, spoken word, and straight up rock in a mess of a song. Like trying to chug a whole gallon of milk: it may seem like a good idea at the time, but once you try it you just end up throwing up.

"Heart Songs," while a little cheesy, is a homage to the music that influenced frontman Rivers Cuomo. It's a terrible song, but relateable. "Dreamin'" is another failed attempt at a feel-good flowery pop song.

A couple songs include lead vocals by the other members of the band, but leave nothing but a bad taste in your mouth.

The band tries to be adventerous, but if things were a little more cohesive, this might be a decent album. This just seems bloated.

Weezer myspace

Zs- The Hard

Unclassifiable doesn't begin to describe this. Chamber music shoved down the throat of a bunch of rockers, or rock music being beat into the heads of a bunch of classical musicians? Somewhere in the ballpark of Frank Zappa (think Grand Wazoo meets Lumpy Gravy maybe?) or if the Boredoms picked up some brass instruments. This single composition is 15 minutes of no-wave, avant-avant-garde wackiness. Excellent range of dynamics. Dig it if you like the Flying Luttenbachers or anything Weasel Walter has done.

Zs myspace

sBACH- sBACH

Bored? Been up all nite mainlining Fun Dip and pouring Mountain Dew into your Frutti Pebbles? Do you think the NES is the greatest invention of mankind and believe it will end all wars and solve wolrd hunger, rape, and class differences? sBACH may be right for you! Three easy steps and you'll be on your way to a magical journey into a doom-ridden 8-bit wonderland.

1. Quit your job, then fill your living room with blankets, matresses, and other soft objects.
2. Place the sBACH self-titled compact disc directly into your CD player. This is crucial! Make sure the label is facing up or it won't play correctly. Now, push play. It's the one that looks like a sideways triangle. Don't hit the square!
3. Consume a near lethal dose of sugar (or psychedelic drugs if you prefer, but that's for cheaters!). Now, let the sounds soak into your rigid ears.

WARNING: At times you may feel angry and want to punch something. This is normal! You may also feel disgustingly happy and want to dance around the living room in day-glo pajamas with feet. Completely normal as well. You may even be led to believe that you are a robot and that this music is conversing to you. Let it talk! Just remember, that when the sounds have ceased to come out of your speakers, it's OK to play it again.

DISCLAIMER: Suicide Squeeze records is not responsible for any property damaged during the listening of this record, nor will they pay for your trip to the Looney Bin.

sBACH myspace